Thursday, December 4, 2008

A Belated Happy National Adoption Month!

Last month was National Adoption Month, and I was going to do a post about, surprisingly enough, adoption! However, my friend Wendy blogged about it so much better than I could, that I'm just going to repeat much of what she said. Thanks Wendy!

It's no secret that our family was formed through adoption - with pale parents and children who are all some beautiful shade of brown it's pretty obvious and often garners unwanted attention. Ok, so we're all used to it by now. I'm getting better at not wanting to kick strangers who stare in the grocery store. Although from time to time someone makes a sympathetic comment about how sad it is that I don't "have any of my own".

I have a range of replies to this, and I've gotten good at not rolling my eyes as I reply that they're all "my own". I have the court papers to prove it.

So, in honor of National Adoption Month, I'm going to turn the tables. You see, I've always felt a little sorry to those whose lives AREN'T touched by adoption. Here, in no particular order, is my (and Wendy's) list of reasons that I love adoption and wouldn't in a million years trade the way my family was created:

1.) I can brag all I want about my kids and it's not an ego thing - it wasn't my genes that created these incredible kids.

2.) Knowing firsthand, in the most personal down-to-the-bone kind of way that love is thicker than blood, blind to color/ethnicity/disability or any of the other conditions society puts on it.

3.) An excuse to immerse myself in new worlds. I've discovered that I love African American literature and have a thing for black history. Who knew?

4.) Validation of my ability to parent! Yes, the endless round of social workers, attorneys and judges is beyond annoying. But unlike most parents, I have at least 8 homestudies that pronounce me a fit parent - heck, most of them say all kinds of nice things about my mothering. And 8 times a judge has concurred. This is great to remember on those "What ever made me think I could do this?!" days.

5.) Having each precious one sealed in the temple. It doesn't get any better than that.

6.)Connections. Through adoption groups I've been a part of, I've found some of my dearest friends, friendships that transcend our common experiences in adoptions and carry over to the rest of life. And because adoption is such a visible, public thing for our family, I often get sweet experiences of proud grandparents showing me pictures of their adopted grandbabies, or quiet conversations with relative strangers who placed a baby for adoption months or years ago and felt the rightness of that choice confirmed when they saw our family together.

7.) I've learned things I didn't know about myself. I've learned that if I just step forward in faith, the Lord really will make up the difference between what I thought I was capable of, and what I'm actually am. There WILL be enough time, money, energy, emotional strength, and patience for another little one. I've learned that I can give up control - yes even a control freak like me. I've learned to let go of my plan and let God accomplish His purposes. His plan is always better than mine anyhow.

So there you have it. Happy National Adoption Month from a happy adoptive Mommy!

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